Twisting the Truth about Modesty Today

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10 responses to “Twisting the Truth about Modesty Today”

1. 

   Carolyn Giordano

   March 21, 2013

   I have a thirty-eight year old single daughter who lives at home. She is very attractive. She has high standards of morality. Yet, I am appalled at the way she dresses as she leaves for work each day. Her skirts are very short. Even a psychologist whom she was seeing for awhile told her that there was a disconnect between the type of conservative young woman she is and the way she dresses. He told her he wanted to see her dress demurely, as women did in the fifties. She stubbornly refuses to change.
   I read to her recently how immodesty tore at the flesh of Jesus during his passion. She simply does not see her clothes as immodest.
   I constantly pray for her conversion.

   Reply
   1. 

      Rita Davidson

      March 27, 2013

      Thank you Carolyn, for your comments. It must be difficult to watch this in your daughter. I would ask first, what do you dress like? Are you setting the example for her? That would the first step. Next would be to educate yourself on modesty (perhaps with some of our resources here) and then perhaps leave them out for her to see. At 38 it is difficult to just make them understand and often forcing will do more harm then good. Not knowing about the situation I might be able to suggest something more specific. I would lastly pray very much for her, for her heart and mind to open. If she is outwardly modest there is obviously a disconnect between her personality and her dress. Much prayer and leaving out good modest material might be the two keys that open her eyes. I pray this is of some help to you! God bless you and Mary keep you! ~Rita Xo 🙂

      Reply
2. 

   Pia Chien

   March 22, 2013

   Let’s talk about pants. I know some Catholics who never wear them, some who wear them sometimes, and others who wear them all the time. I am conflicted about it, personally speaking. I have an auto-immune disorder and live in a very cold climate. Except for Mass, I wear pants to keep the muscles in my legs from cramping. Tights don’t work. I let my teenage daughter wear jeans and it is a constant battle over what is too tight. I don’t like to buy things that cling, but I admit that I sometimes cave in due to pressure from her. Then I feel like a failure as a parent.
   What are your thoughts about pants? Pants that don’t cling? A middle-aged woman like me in pants? (BTW, I am a stay-at-home mother and wife and always have on an apron from dawn till bedtime that reaches down to just above the knee.)

   Reply
   1. 

      Rita Davidson

      March 27, 2013

      Thank you Pia for your comments! I can see this is something that is pulling on your heartstrings very much. I am one of those ‘never wear pants’ persons. I’ve not owned a pair of pants for nearly 15 years. We have very cold winters of -40C and very hot, and humid summers of 100F. I’ve never found a reason to wear pants. Yes, some days I need to bundle up warmer and have to really think more about how to layer my clothes so they are warm enough. I think if your heart is in the right place, you can make it work. Keep in mind that God does not ask us to do the impossible, but He did give us His all, His entire lifeblood shed for us. So, when something pulls on our heart like this, we have to try find out if this is something really possible, not something we ‘thought’ impossible because we kept ourselves in the dark about it. As a mother you have to set the example for your daughter if you hope to get her on the right path. I think if you pray about it very much, and get your own heart convicted about modesty and wearing skirts, then you will be able to give these same tools to your daughter. Read my post about Dressing Warm and Modest in Winter http://littleflowersfamilypress.com/blog/staying-warm-modest-winter/, it might give you some tips. God bless you as you seek His will! Rita Xo 🙂

      Reply
3. 

   Ella

   March 27, 2013

   This is not directed towards any particular person, but it seems to me that women have, since the beginning of time, been far too eager to disobey God and follow man and their own desires when it comes to dress. I have been down that road trying to justify why I wore x ,y, or z to suit myself. I finally decided to open-mindedly study the matter and let the Holy Spirit guide me; it has helped me immeasurably. It especially saddens me when I see women teaching their daughters immodesty with no thought of God, only of enticing men.

   Reply
   1. 

      Rita Davidson

      March 27, 2013

      Beautifully said Ella! May your finding the truth always keep you humble and always hungry for God’s truth! God bless you! Rita 🙂

      Reply
4. 

   Mary

   March 31, 2013

   I have thought about modesty more in the past 10 years and especially since having a daughter. There have been times when I was almost oblivious to the importance of modesty. I am a convert and modesty was never discussed when I was growing up, but I did have good models in my grandmother’s and mother. I always dressed appropriately for mass as it was ingrained that you wear your Sunday best and something appropriate for church. Still there were times when socially I dressed for affect. I wish my parish at the time had guidelines for brides. I had no clue I am sad to say.

   It is not getting any better and the messages going out to all women in the media is that they should wear revealing clothes, at least while they are young and/or single. Out of curiosity, I looked at a recent television show on brides and their dresses and the obsession is in them finding something that will make them “sexy”. There was another show that focuses on having a mother’s wedding dress altered for a woman and whether she will choose the altered dress or a new one. There was an episode where the young woman said she was Catholic and wanted a modest dress and the designer did not know what to do. Her attitude was “you are young” the implication being why not flaunt your body and she did not understand why the young woman was adamant that her dress not be cut too low and that it had some arm coverage.

   I did have a time when I tried wearing all dresses and skirts for a time but then went back to pants. When our daughter was about 2, I decided to try again. I also switched to just dressing our daughter in dresses and skirts. She is used to playing and having fun and can do it is a dress, skirt or skort. I found a great place to get bloomers and bike shorts are easy to find. I also talk to our daughter about the importance of modesty and appropriate clothes. She knows why I won’t buy or wear certain things. She wears uniforms at school, and I have made certain I found skirts and dresses for non-uniform times, that she likes so she understands you can be modest and attractive at the same time. She is in a Catholic school but slacks are an option for the girls along with the jumper and many of the teachers wear slacks and on dress down days there are a number of girls who wear pants. If we come to a point where she is actively asking for pants I will have to pray that I can help her decide why is she wanting the pants.

   I also make certain to dress modestly myself. Summer can be a challenge, but I have found it is much cooler to wear a skirt or dress than pants. I have found that I can wear skirts even on the coldest days or times I have been outside. There are a couple of places on-line to get long slips (silk or cotton) that are not that expensive. One of the places also has bamboo leggings and those, combined with their long cotton slip and wool blend socks, has enabled me to go to the March for Life in a skirt and be fine.

   Reply
   1. 

      Rita Davidson

      March 31, 2013

      Thank you Mary for sharing your struggles and your successes with modesty! Sounds like your on the right track. Teaching your daughter to be modest will get you much farther once she grows and starts wanting pants too. But I would suggest you start praying for her now, since you need many years of graces to get our kids through their toughest ages when they are teens. Satan unleashes all his wiles to catch them unaware! It is teaching them now, making sure they have the sacraments and the love for God as they grow is the best protection they will have. Making sure you have the resources you need to answer all her questions and to know them all yourself. Many of these resources we have on our webstore under “Modesty Resources”. And we are always developing more resources that would be of help. Your example is most important and communicating with her too. As she grows she will have to see other girls her age supporting her if she will be successful in not rebelling against what she will find is constricting modesty. Praying you continue to find modesty the easy course for you and May God bless you for obeying His will in your life. ~Rita 🙂

      Reply
5. 

   marianne

   April 5, 2013

   I was a great sinner for most my life, partly due to immodesty. As a child of the ’60’s and 70’s, when the Church was imploding after Vatican II opened it to the world, our Traditional priests were very busy just providing the Sacraments and educating people on the True Faith. Church dress was still modest for us, dresses and skirts below the knee, but outside of Church, we were lost. Pants, jeans, were the norm. We fell for the ‘dress for comfort’ line, and as teens, dressed to be “attractive” (attractive of what? the animal attention of the opposite sex). I joined the military, the worst place for a young woman to try and maintain purity, and fell.

   While i would alternate between long skirts and pants for work wear once out in the civilian world again, i still didn’t see anything wrong with pants, or dressing ‘as a man’.

   It wasn’t til i married at 36, and had my first child, my son, at 37, that God’s grace finally worked through my blindness and pride. It was the profound innocence of my newly baptized son’s soul which started to lift the blindness. I acquired first, the book “Dressing with Dignity” and then “Immodesty:Satan’s Virtue” with the other booklets from Rita’s website which dealt with the subject. At the same time, i was drawn once again to the Fatima story, especially the children’s lives. I was still wearing jeans for yardwork and winterwork, but starting acquiring more skirts, though my sleeves were still short.

   Then my daughter was born – and looking at her innocence, feeling the impurity inherent in pants, no matter the excuse, i ditched them. How could i expect her to follow Our Lady, and avoid the pits of immodesty and impurity i fell in, if i gave bad example – her closest, most important role model as to what a Catholic woman should be? How would she learn sacrifice if i dressed always for comfort or convenience, rather than for God?

   We see, in the Traditional priests and sisters, the example to follow. No matter the weather, they wear their full black cassocks or black veils and habits, long sleeves, in the heat of the sun at the summer camps for our children or the winter snows. We see Jacinta and Lucia in their long-sleeved blouses and long skirts, Francisco in his long sleeves and long pants, even in the summer heat of Portugal. There was no such thing as dressing for comfort or convenience, they clothed their bodies with the remembrance of the dignity bestowed on them in the gift of Sanctifying grace, and any discomfort was a welcome mortification to be offered in union with Christ’s sufferings on the cross to Almighty God in reparation for sin. How much we, in our soft, convenience-ridden and slothful age have forgotten!!

   What shame we are put to as Catholics, when others such as the Amish and Muslims dress modestly for their false beliefs, yet we, with the fullness of the True Faith, still parade about in jeans, short sleeves, short skirts or dresses, low necklines, high heels, or clingy clothes revealing every curve (or pregnant bellies as a current fashion holds) or the hands and feet of Catholic daughters reveals nails painted green, blue, or black, wrists and ankles adorned with garish jewelry, and bling sequins splashed on shirts, waistbands or shoes! Modesty encompasses many things, including not calling undue attention to ourselves because of our dress, words or actions, or being a distraction to those around us, especially in Church – such a distraction becomes a wall between a soul and God. Will He look kindly on those who prevent souls from coming to Him, either through their distractions or the scandal they give?

   It is a living martyrdom to live constantly surrounded by immodesty, a new sacrifice to offer to Our Lord to make reparation for sin as we pray for these dear souls’ conversion. My son knows what a virtuous Catholic woman looks like at least, as he has pointed out to me “she dresses modestly, Mom” or sadly turns away from those who are immodest (and detests the grocery store because we have to pass those magazines to check out – he looks to the candy instead). My little daughter is now, at 10, a martyr for purity, when she must defend her dress, and debate those who insist she should wear pants or culottes or short sleeves. May Our Lady always keep our children safe in God’s truth and grace, and strong against the temptations of the world, even fellow Catholic girls who sadly know only pants outside of the school jumpers and skirts. May all be converted!

   The current chastisements we are suffering are because of our own ignorance of living a truly Catholic life. So few listen to the quiet voice of God, Who speaks to us in the silence of our hearts, if only we shut out the noise of the world, and listen.

   I am a sinner, and once a slave to immodesty. Deo gratias, Our Lord lifted me up from that pit, Our Lady showed me the way, and through two very good souls and the books they wrote, i learned the whys and wherefores, and thus am no longer a slave. There are still other sins to battle, but at least this one, a gateway to the hell of impurity, has been removed as an influence to our children – may it by the grace of God always be so removed.

   Thank you, Rita – may God bless you and your work always, and Our Lady’s Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart be always your refuge and strength.

   Reply
   1. 

      Rita Davidson

      April 8, 2013

      Thank you for sharing your story Marianne, you’ve summed it all up pretty much in a nutshell! God bless and keep you on that narrow road, ~Rita/LFFA

      Reply

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