HUSBANDS Who DON’T PRAY (or wives)

QUESTION:

Thank you Rita! If you don’t mind me asking, does your family pray the rosary together? I am trying to first pray the rosary myself and eventually get my family together. I really feel I need my husband to lead this though.

ANSWER:

The ideal family has the father as the head, as Christ’s representative. And yes, ideally this means the husband leads the rosary too. But for those new to the faith that can be a lot of work or those married to a non-Catholic even more difficult, if not impossible.

If we ourselves have barely learned the rosary we might even be nervous to say it as a family. I sure remember being self conscious about it. We can quickly feel like a failure right from the start!

How many of us look at other families with perfect, obedient, children?

We all know at least ‘one’ family like this. We naively assume what crosses they have; only wishing our family was so perfect with dad at the head.

yeah, well crosses are what get us to heaven…

I always say God never runs out of ways to give us our unique crosses, for some of us that will be our spouse. Some look here and there for a better cross not realizing it is there right in front of our eyes. We have to pray for the strength and courage to see Gods will in all of our crosses otherwise they are empty and shallow.

Every family has a cross of some kind or another. There really is no ‘perfect’ family and the devil is working full time to ensure that you think your family is not as good as the next. While we all wish for our husbands to be the head of the family, some of us were not so ‘smart’ when we got married. Eh? Sound familiar? Yes, me too. 🙂

Some of us didn’t find our faith until AFTER our marriage too. Yes, actually a lot of us! That means we have to drag our poor husbands along after us don’t we? They are wondering just what they got themselves into. Heaven help them!

But, once we make this commitment to our faith we are on a one-way street. With our new-found zeal, there’s no stopping us, we rant and rave against our now ‘heretical’ husband. We nag him and accost him for how much he doesn’t measure up to our “new’ standard.

It is true a couple needs to be united in leading the family. So we fret and worry what a bad example we are to our kids. But, we have to find ways to make this work even if one parent is not exactly on board with us, otherwise, our marriage will end up on the cutting board. Yes, unfortunately.

How do we run a life with an unevenly yoked spouse?

What about those Saints that had pagan parents and such? What is to account for that? They turned out okay. Saints like St. Rita that became a great saint and converted her husband with her patience and prayers or St. Dymphna that became a saint because of her pagan father. God picks who He will and we must never assume it is hopeless. It takes much prayer, never ceasing to always know God’s will and to always strive for it no matter the cost. Families today are getting hit from every side. Much grace is needed to keep a family together today. Take St. Michael as your advocate.

Unfortunately accosting our spouses and nagging them is NOT going to improve our marriage. Nor is it going to make your new faith attractive to them. Not saying anything is not going to help either.

While our “standard” has now been raised, that doesn’t mean “they” have changed. To expect such changes is well, impossible. Think of how long God knocked you on the head before you found YOUR faith!

Ask me how I know…

My dear husband put up with me over the years as I re-found my faith and he struggled along in the dark. Spouses can sometimes have significant problems understanding God. It’s not always all drama and emotion (well, okay sometimes it is). Just because we understand God doesn’t mean they do, it takes time. God’s time.

If your looking for ways for your husband to lead the rosary, it’s going to take some unique work to make that happen. The first thing is to recognize that you are the vessel that God works through, therefore you must decrease so He will increase. We do that best by less talking and more prayer. You will not win your spouse with nagging but with your example. And your example is the best way to convert them. It is God doing the converting remember NOT you.

All that ranting and raving comes from our inability to control them. We want them on board with the program NOW. We have to learn to LET GO and let God change their hearts while we sacrifice and be the BEST WIFE we can be for them.

It might take years. It might take all the years of your marriage. We have to be willing to go the long haul, to fight the good fight. Make the faith so attractive for our spouses so that they just fall into it. Take it from one that knows, after 29 years, my husband is finally saying the rosary. It often  takes enough crosses suffered together to make them realize the rosary is really the only answer.

I’m praying for yours,

With love,

Rita Xo 🙂

©Copyright 2014 Rita Davidson  All Rights Reserved.

Rita is a Catholic wife, and mother of seven, with three autistic boys. Currently a writer, & published author, she is a former hairdresser, professional make up artist with a degree in Natural Health. She is now a Young Living Distributor. After overcoming a stroke, disabilities, and more, they recently lost everything in a devastating house fire that made them homeless for six months. She is determined to lead souls back to Christ by carrying their crosses with Joy!