Just when you think you have figured out suffering

FiguredOutSuffering

Just when you think you have figured out suffering,

God sends you a curveball.

By Rita Davidson

 

Just when you think you have figured out suffering, God will send you a curveball. For those whose live has been floating by without nary a cross to suffer, I doubt you will understand this. (I still love you. 🙂 LOL

But for those of you, that life seems to go from one cross to a crisis, to a cross, almost like if they are all connected, (shhh and they are.) this will hopefully this will give you hope.

It started when I was 17, when I found out I was going to be a single mother. Many of you have heard that story so I won’t get into it here. But, suffering has a way of stretching you…oh and that stretching hurts! It’s hard!

You start by ohhing, and complaining and after a few days, (or maybe even more,) you finally remember to Offer it up? Oh, then you feel like a failure since all those past days you forgot to offer it up and feel like you’ve lost all that time. *sigh

Can you relate to that? Disappointing isn’t it?

Once you get your mind aligned and you offer it up, suddenly you get this strength and you smile a little more, though your cross is still there. Suddenly, you can smile through your tears. The world has suddenly become a little brighter for you.

The mist of the morning, is just a little more beautiful than you remember it?

The bird chirping; is just a little brighter than before?

The laughter of your children; just a little sweeter?

How has this change come about? What has really changed? Our focus has changed, that is all. We suddenly aligned ourselves to God’s will and it made all the little things in our life that much brighter. It’s not a miracle, it’s more a result of doing God’s will.

HUMILITY, key to the spiritual life

When we learn to accept Gods will, through gritted teeth at first, it is an act of humility really.  It’s awful hard for our pride to accept what we don’t approve of. We don’t like change, upsetting our comfortable life.

I was reminded of this a few days ago, as my health crashed again. The second time; since 2010. So, I fought it. I did what I could to ignore, deny and move forward each day. Then my blood work results came back. My severe anemia was confirmed, and another adrenal crash was evident.

I was worn out, burned out, apathetic, depressed (yes me!) and had no will or energy to do anything. Some of you on my Facebook page, heard me mention “I need a miracle!” This was in the throes of my health crash, trying to re-orient myself.

CROSSES

You’d think I was used to carrying crosses in my life. From a difficult childhood of abuse, Anorexia as a young teen, stroke at 26 years, years of continued poverty, infertility, being misjudged, living with disabilities, depression, anxiety, and a house fire that put us homeless for 6 months. That is just the short list! Oh my!

You’d think I had a lot of practice with all those crosses? But, no matter how many crosses God sends your way, once you get comfortable with one, He will send you a new one, that will be all brand new! Yup, He sure does. And when that happens, your first reaction is, “oh my, this can’t be happening.”

what will I do?”

And you (ahem…, “I”) spend any number of minutes, hours, days, fretting and agonizing over this ‘ill fitted cross’.

You see we haven’t broken this cross “IN” yet. It’s so hard and such pointy edges, it presses, it’s sharp and tears and is so heavy. The longer we leave God out of it, the more it rubs us the wrong way, presses into sensitive areas, and wears us out mentally and emotionally. You see, God is waiting….

He is waiting for you to say, “God’s will be done in me.”

And then the graces begin to flow. He knows that each cross He sends will be new to us and needs breaking in, like a new shoe.  They really are all connected in a beautiful tapestry to mold us into saints. But, that breaking in, doesn’t fully happen until we ‘give it all to Him.’

So, if you have been carrying your crosses all alone. (shhh me too.) J Felt like a failure since you suffer so badly. No worries. God truly understands. When all seems lost, and it inevitably will, that is when you have to lay it (throw it if you must!) all on Him. Pray for strength, courage, pray for a break, even! But, always remember to talk to God. Don’t leave Him out of your life, or out of your suffering. Even when your pain is so bad, like when my headache was so bad from my anemia I couldn’t think last week. Your PAIN IS your PRAYER, if you unite it to HIM.

After two weeks, I am finally feeling a little better. My perspective has come back. I have had to accept I am not ‘wonderwoman’. You know the “I can do it all” attitude. I’ve had all the arguments with God, “how could you have forsaken me?” “O Lord, why”. Well, my cross was realizing I CAN”T do it all.

  1. That means my new cross is going to bed EARLY. *groan
  2. Limiting my coffee to ONE cup per day. *groan again.
  3. Eating BREAKFAST. *okay I knew this one
  4. Taking breaks more. (hard for us martyr moms eh?) and even treating myself to ‘something’ (that I can afford) LOL 🙂 to take the edge off before I crash again.
  5. Finding beauty on purpose. Sometimes when your cross is so devastating, like our housefire with all it’s blackness and all we lost, we have to find beauty, ON PURPOSE. Beauty has a way of refreshing the soul, and it is the first thing we forget when we are suffering.

I know some of you are carrying terribly heavy crosses right now. There are no words I can say to make it easier for you, except to BREATHE deeply.

It WILL pass. As soon as you ‘give it all to HIM’ it will suddenly get lighter, and your life will become that much richer, through your tears.

Leave me your comments and prayer requests! It is my honor to pray for you! Xo 🙂

With love,

Rita Xo 🙂

 

©Copyright 2014 Rita Davidson  All Rights Reserved.

IMG_0905Rita is a Catholic wife, and mother of seven, with three autistic boys. Currently a writer, & published author, she is a former hairdresser, professional make up artist with a degree in Natural Health. She is now a Young Living Distributor. After overcoming a stroke, disabilities, and more, they recently lost everything in a devastating house fire that made them homeless for six months. She is determined to lead souls back to Christ by carrying their crosses with Joy!

Comments 10

  1. Please pray for my health. I am having heart problems, but have to continue working at a stressful job. I have only one sister who cares some, but I know, is getting tired of my problems. So I do feel all alone. I just wish I could feel the presence of God, Our Lady, and my Guardian Angel.

    1. Post
      Author

      Patricia,
      I’m so sorry to hear about your health problems! I’m not sure of the heart problems you have but perhaps there are some supplements that may be of some help? I pray you will feel the comfort of God and His peace soon.
      Often it is when we are feeling so abandoned that God is there in the darkness waiting for us to collapse into His arms.
      I will keep praying for you and hope you’ll come back here and let me know how your doing?
      God bless and keep you,
      Rita Xo 🙂
      Immodesty, Satan’s Virtue (2001) and more…

    1. Post
      Author

      Thank you Nicole and so thankful that God has given me the ability to write.

      Share with your friends! 🙂
      God bless
      Rita Xo 🙂
      Author: Immodesty, Satan’s Virtue (2001) and more…

  2. Please pray for me. I to lost my beautiful home to foreclosure right before Christmas. We have had financial difficulties for years now. My oldest daughter has moved in and out with various older “men” and doesn’t know if she believes in God. Having to move to a more affordable town to rent, we know nobody. I became severely anemic and have been bed ridden on and off making homeschooling my other three next to impossible.
    I too was hospitalized in my early twenties with an eating disorder. I suffer from anxiety and depression. It seems a few of my children have inherited emotional difficulties as well.
    My husband and I have been married 21long years, most of it gritting our teeth. He has a bad temper and I married him at a very difficult time when otherwise I would have been thinking clearer.
    Our family lives far away. I’ve been familiar with crosses since the age of eight when I began regularly having panic attacks.
    My dear mother passed away a few years ago and my father has turned to excessive drinking.
    I’ve really unloaded on you but I am so hoping that you can pray that I find peace thru all this!
    Thank you and God bless,
    Lisa
    P.s. I’m also having a hysterectomy in August if you could please pray!

    1. Post
      Author

      Oh Lisa!
      My heart truly goes out to you and all you have been through! I only hope my prayers can bring you some peace.
      I have wrote quite a bit on health, and anxiety, etc. There is so much that can be done for anxiety I don’t want to see you suffer needlessly! Have you tried magnesium? That is my first thought. Going glutenfree would be my second thought. Being anemic and bedridden reminds me of adrenal fatigue. I think if you could get your anxiety under control it would give you some peace. And then get your anemia recovered. I really feel for you Lisa, and hope just a few of these will give you some hope that things can get better?
      Here are a few resources I hope you’ll look up. They have been excellent for me.
      Praying for you and PLEASE, please, come back and let me know how your doing!!! I hope to hear from you again!
      God bless you!
      With love,
      Rita Xo 🙂
      Author: Immodesty, Satans Virtue (2001) and more…
      http://www.adrenalfatigue.org
      http://www.antianxietyfoodsolution.com/

  3. Thank you, Rita. I’ve attempted to read this article for two days. God blessed me with a moment today, my daughter, Logan’s 18th birthday. Bittersweet. I needed this today.

    1. Post
      Author

      Hello Mary Beth!
      I so know what you mean about ‘bittersweet’. I have so many of those days too. 🙁
      I’m so glad you had a chance to read this, and even more pleased it was appreciated and needed for you today.

      God bless and keep you always,
      Rita xo 🙂
      Author: Immodesty, Satan’s Virtue (2001) and more…

  4. Dear Rita

    It is only Gods grace that has enabled you to over come all your hardships but of course you now that, I give GOD THE GLORY FOR THE FAITH AND TRUST that you have put in him.

    Please pray for my sister and her husband who are totally burned out, past retirement age and still having to run a bed and breakfast business as they have been unable to sell it for years now. It is a leasehold property in Weymouth, they feel like just shutting shop and leaving but they cant as there are still bills to pay even if they are not there, so they have to continue.

    My sister her church and friends have all been praying for years and years for her as she steadily gets older and more tired and worn out. He husband was unable to walk and had a knee operation and my sister is in need of an operation on her foot but recovery time is so long she is not able to have it done because she has to continue working. She has had periods where she has doubted God and her faith as there has been no answer to her prayers yet. She is not at peace she thinks about it day and night. I find it difficult to know what to say to her when I speak to her. She said is says her basic prayers daily but is done with asking for a sale but asks god each day for the strength to carry on and not to get ill.

    I would appreciate your prayers.

    God Bless you and your family and the work you do for The Lord.

    Mrs Pat Cummings

    1. Post
      Author

      Hello Pat,
      I’ am so sorry to hear of the troubles of your sister and husband. It is truly disheartening when prayers go on for years and years and never get answered.
      All we can pray is that she keeps her faith through it all, as that is all that matters in the end. But I would also suggest that they bury a St. Joseph statue in the front lawn and pray to St. Joseph to get it sold. He has worked many times for us in the past.
      Reminds me, I haven’t buried a statue of him anywhere lately…. hmmm

      I will continue to keep them in my prayers and I pray you will come back and report to us if there is any improvement at all!
      Praying God will hear soon.
      God bless you and keep you,
      With love,
      Rita Xo 🙂
      Author: Immodesty, Satan’s Virtue (2001) and more…

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