Staying the Course with modesty
By Rita Davidson
How do you stay on track with modesty when you have no support around you?
On a recent modesty survey I asked if everyone needed help staying the course with modesty? A whopping 30.36% said they had trouble with this!
When we change to more modest clothing and dresses and skirts, we often feel like WE stick out like a sore thumb. Often it’s only US that feels like we are sticking out, (seriously, a lot of the time NO ONE else could CARE less).
When they DO notice, they will often come to you with the question, “Why do you always wear skirts?”
Explain to people, you wear them because you ENJOY them.
That they help cover up that extra weight your carrying around since the baby.
Or you FEEL more comfortable in them.
Here’s the BIG DEAL your NOT concerned with what THEY wear or don’t wear.
Sometimes when we make a change, be it a new diet, or a new exercise program, we get so excited we start judging everyone around us. Yes, this has happened with me too. My AWARENESS of my clothing, was an automatic judgement against anyone else that didn’t measure up. I could tell they didn’t know anything about modesty, or they didn’t care about modesty when they dressed, but it still made me feel obligated to help them SEE.
The first step to your own judgement over others is to make a commitment to NOT play God in other people’s lives. You can’t change other people. No matter how hard you try you can’t make them change until God works on their heart. Just because WE (me included) have found the path to modesty, doesn’t make us the modesty police for other people in their dress and modesty.
What would Jesus do?
LOVE, LOVE is what Jesus would do. LOVE would help you have compassion for your family, your spouse, your friends when they do not understand or believe as you do about modesty. LOVE is what will make you the best example of dressing modestly that YOU could be. LOVE is what will make you dress for HIM and not THEM.
One day they will ask you, “How do you do it, keep wearing a skirt?” and then when you see their heart has changed you can tell them the love you have for Jesus in your heart and how modesty has blessed you.
The problem is when we start defending our choices, and start ‘preaching’ to others about how THEY should be dressing, we start making THEM defensive and push them FURTHER away from understanding.
Changing to modest dressing is a life-long journey. So be patient. This will take time for you to learn how to dress modest and be comfortable too. I’ve been wearing skirts for 17 years since I first wrote, Immodesty, Satan’s Virtue, and I’m still learning.
We can’t drag anyone else to heaven with us, but we can be the best example to them of a happy Saint so they would be drawn to the faith by the joy we have found in modest dressing. Once others are sure you are not trying to change them, they will be more relaxed and open to your good example.
No matter what they choose to do, we can always love them, and not judge them, only God knows their hearts. Let us try walk one day in their shoes. Make your life a prayer and spread God’s love everywhere without words.
That is the real test of charity, to preach without words, by our example.
Taken from my upcoming, 3rd Edition of “Immodesty, Satan’s Virtue” (2001) saved from the ashes! I can’t wait, can you? 🙂
Rita xo 🙂
©Copyright 2015 Rita Davidson & Little Flowers Family Press All Rights Reserved.
Rita is a Catholic wife, and mother of seven, with three autistic boys. Currently a writer, & published author, she is a former hairdresser, professional make up artist with a degree in Natural Health. She is now a Young Living Distributor. After overcoming a stroke, disabilities, and more, they recently lost everything in a devastating house fire that made them homeless for six months. She is determined to lead souls back to Christ by carrying their crosses with Joy!
This was a very nice reminder. 🙂
I have been meaning to write, or actually to find the time. 😉 Some of your weekly posts have, I believe, inspired me to ask a very deep question – one that would greatly benefit parents with children still at home.
Would you be willing to include, if you have not already, a chapter on what part do you think you played as a parent in your older children’s loss of faith and Catholic culture? Was it nothing, you presented Catholic values the best possible and they just left? Where there better ways to address certain issues now that you can look back? Where there signs that should not have been ignored? Where you so involved in this modesty mission, that the kids saw it as “moms crusade,” and did not see the real beauty of it or the sacrifices? And with the book being on modesty, what care should have given in this area in particular? How can we learn to help our children love this virtue better and what signs to be aware of? How can we learn to defend the faith and virtues and not water it down, but listen to concerns and not come off condemning but sincerely give help and direction?
I sincerely hope this does not come off as, how dare I ask this question. If none of this applies to you, please ignore, and if you want you can delete this question. But I think it would be invaluable info for all of us still trying to raise children as Catholics with love for virtue, sacrifice, and more.
Please, please consider. Thank you
Thank you Mary,
And so glad you enjoyed this reminder. 🙂
Watch for this and more answered in the upcoming 3rd edition, of “Immodesty, Satan’s Virtue” I pray it will be a comfort, blessing and lesson for everyone!
God bless you!
Rita Xo 🙂
Author of the bestselling, “Immodesty, Satan’s Virtue” (2001), saved from the ashes, returns in 2015!
I’m so fortunate in that there are several families which have informally joined this Crusade. More often than not, it is those who wear pants who are feeling the pressure to dress a bit different when in a social situation than vice-versa. I don’t remember when this happened, for I certainly don’t remember any of us donning skirts very often 15 years ago. God works in his own time!
Thanks for joining in the conversation here Janice! (yes, I want to create a conversation here to inspire others!) 🙂
Yes, its amazing when others start ‘catching’ on and relieving us of the pressure.
It’s so true God works in HIS own time, not ours.. patience is truly a virtue! 🙂
Rita Xo 🙂
Author of the bestselling, “Immodesty, Satan’s Virtue” (2001) saved from the ashes! Making a comeback in 2015!
i read your book a while back (a borrowed copy that was shared by others!). I DO feel God is leading me to this. I have been “working” on it for several months. My difficulty is all me & my notion of not looking frumpy. Is this wrong/vain of me?
ahhhhh, so God has planted that SEED didn’t He? Now what is holding you back? *tisk tisk now…
Worried about your looks, or about what others will think of you? Hmmm
Sweet Deborah…tell me more.. 🙂
Rita Xo 🙂
Author, of the bestselling, “Immodesty, Satan’s Virtue” (2001) saved from the ashes, and returning in 2015! 🙂