The difficulty when others do not understand your Crosses
By Rita Davidson
Crosses will come, come what may. It’s a hard fact of life. Often it is a friend or loved one, who will have the most comforting word to ease our pain, even if they cant remove it.
But human nature being what it is, God knows we live in darkness from our blind side. Oh Lord, that we may see! What we have not suffered ourselves we often assume, with the log in our eye, ( yes me too) as being the easiest cross to bear.
Take our fire, such a sudden and dramatic loss of material possessions was a shock to our system, if not our faith. We have seen every kind of comment made after our fire, (yes some not so nice too.)
Recently I was asked about some past crosses we have had with our estranged older children. Wanting to know how our loss of material things in our fire could be as bad as losing our children from the faith.
My husband, Mark put it plainly today when he said, ‘the pain from our girls leaving hurt so much, he had to just forget about it.” This comes from a man; who doesn’t talk much about his own pain. Even after our fire, we cried together, but his pain was his own, and what pained him the most was how close to death we all came.
It was like when I had one of my first miscarriages. The pain you feel is overwhelming, intense, leaves you bare and inevitably everyone around you says those most comforting, yet painful things,
“Oh you’ll have another”,
“It was only small” ,
“at least you have other children”.
WE are all alone in our crosses, it’s just you and God there.
A friend of mine had a daughter go off to the convent. What a blessed grace for a family! But it pains her terribly and while I can feel her pain, leaves me unable to even lend a useful word, since I can only guess at her pain of loss in such a blessing. She is ALONE in her pain.
I could go on and on about similar situations. What is most difficult for us to understand is to see someone suffering with something that seems so pointless – TO US.
“Why all that worry? Why all those tears? Huh?” We just can’t see “past that log” that keeps us blinded to their pain.
That is the secret of the crosses that God sends. Two people could carry the same cross, but will suffer with it differently. Mark suffered with knowing how close we all came to death. I suffered with the loss of material possessions and memories I can never get back, it was like God wiped clean every memory of our older girls in our fire. A unique ‘knife twist’ to this cross.
Unfortunately, we are human, and our responses to the crosses that God sends are often feeble at best. The weight of this hunk of a body that keeps us from really seeing as God sees. We plod through life with blinders on hoping, hoping we are moving forward, but feeling the downward pull of the world on every side.
Oh Lord that I may see! God knows what crosses He should send to each and every one. He knows just what our heart is attached too, that He wants to break. Yes, BREAK. They are custom made crosses just for us, and no one near us can imagine our pain, because this is soul work, between you and God. That is just the way God wants it. We are ALONE in our cross.
Ultimately, that is all we will have on that last day, it will be just our naked soul and Him. And let us pray all our crosses we carry in our life, IS the ladder to get us to HIM in the end.
Starting next Tuesday, armed with what I’ve learned from my crosses (which are many), I will share my pain and lead a group through a 4 week online class, to analyze your crosses and help build habits to help you carry them better as they get heavier. I hope you’ll join me there?
Rita Xo 🙂
©Copyright 2015 Rita Davidson & Little Flowers Family Press All Rights Reserved.
Rita is a Catholic wife, and mother of seven, with three autistic boys. Currently a writer, & published author, she is a former hairdresser, professional make up artist with a degree in Natural Health. She is now a Young Living Distributor. After overcoming a stroke, disabilities, and more, they recently lost everything in a devastating house fire that made them homeless for six months. She is determined to lead souls back to Christ by carrying their crosses with Joy!